The Colorless Mushroom

Mushki, the mushroom had lost her smile,
“Why am I not colourful”, she wondered all the while
She was always so very sad,
Wondering, “Why do I have this grey colour so bad?”

Honey, the bee was flying around
Over the flowers with a buzzing sound
Seeing so many beautiful colours on the flowers and the bee
“Sob Sob”, started weeping Mushki

Just then Missy the ladybird started crawling over a stem
With a red and black body she looked like a precious gem
Mushki started to weep louder now
Wishing she could be colourful like Missy somehow

Bubbly the butterfly with rainbow coloured wings
Moved from one flower to the other for nectar drinking
Mushki wished she had at least one rainbow colour on her
“Oh!”, she moaned, “What have I done wrong, why do I have to suffer?”

And then like her, the sky shed tears, it began to rain,
And she saw Rangeela, the peacock dance again and again
He had the most colourful wings Mushki had ever seen,
And Mushki become the saddest she had ever been

Suddenly Honey, Missy, Bubbly and Rangeela surrounded Mushki
Mushki was surprised; she widened her tear filled eyes slightly
“Oh My! The rain drops look so beautiful on your grey body", they said
“You give us your colour, take ours instead!”

Mushki couldn’t believe what she heard
She looked at herself and indeed their praise she deserved
Slowly her face broke into a smile, she forgot her pain,
And never ever was she sad again

-Shweta Ravindran

Diary of a Frustrated Soul

i stood all alone against the test of time

fighting with myself, standing against all odds, losing everytime

yet i did not give up, with the hopes of a better tomorrow

however grim the situation was i did not bow down to any sorrow

i did find happiness in bits and pieces

but when i started to enjoy it, emerged another major crisis

i always believed God was trying to make me stronger

But now am tired and weary cant go on any longer

i cant put the broken pieces of my soul back together,have lost many

don't  have hopes of feeling complete any

how long is this war with myself going to go on

for how long do i have to keep telling myself 'Just hold on'

sometimes feel like the lead character of a never ending TV soap

whose torments will never end,atleast  not until with the drag the audience can no longer cope

but on second thoughts atleast it has a definite end

When the dropping TRP signals to the producer are sent

But what about me?????

Will i ever be free????

Ya ghumte rahugi iss roller coaster ride mei gol gol

Janne kliye padhte rahiye diary of this frustrated soul

mere ashk

ashko ki do boondein chupakar rakhi thi in palkon mei

inse ek apnapan sa hogya tha

par ye bhi zidd karhi hai muje chod jane ki

kya maine inhe itna sataya tha

inhe na behne diya maine

chupakar rakhna chaha apna gam

socha tha isi bahane shayad

mere ladhne ki takat na hogi kam

na door karna chahti thi inhe mujse

raaz khuljate mere saare

bichad jaate mujse mere apne

bangaye the ye mere jeene ke sahare

dhundle padhgaye raste saare

inn aasoon ke behne ki zidd par

khogayi hu rahon mei kahi

manzil ki na hai koi khabar

Today i decide

today i decide i will kill my hope
with the reality that is staring in my face, i will cope
today i decide, i will start living for myself, my happiness alone
because the deepest hurt is given by people you call your own
today i decide, i will weave dreams new
and i will ensure that each and everyone of them comes true
today i decide, i dont need others to bring happiness in my world
i am all i have for me,Dear Heart, i hope you heard
today i decide, i will not let sorrow pull me down
no matter what, i will carry on my face, a smile, not a frown
today i decide, i will love myself more than anyone else
clear the space for myself, where currently someone else dwells
today i decide, i will cherish every moment
leave all the hurt behind, for no action repent
today i decide, i will revive the child inside of me
live like a free bird, set myself free
today i decide, i will not shed a single precious tear anymore
i want to believe that my life has finally found its shore
today i decide, i will learn to love myself more than yesterday, less than tomorrow
so that all i have around me is peace, happiness and smiles, not a drop of sorrow

Lack of courage

sometimes i am amazed at my ability to fool myself. i behave as though everything is perfect within me, i am happy, i am cheerful, everything is so fine in my perfect little world...and i almost start believing its true. until the pain starts oozing out...first in trickles and ultimately it turns into a tsunami so huge that it drowns all the makeshift happiness i have created within me. i never knew before that i was a coward.whatever situations that life has thrown at me, i would face it upfront.Sensitive though i am, i would fall, break and somehow put the broken pieces of my soul back together.but the point is i would face the situation fully conscious of the fact that it would shatter me.but you dont reach the shore until you have battled the waves.but this time the difference is i am not ready to step in to the wading waters. the waves have thrown me off course once and i have not been able to pick all my shattered pieces together...and am afraid to step in again........either i have to dissolve the desire to reach the shore or just wade in battle the waves and either drown or emerge victorious. but am afraid to drown, afraid to try....what i need is some courage which i never felt i lacked.......but this is a different situation...and its a different me.........

wish i could end the wait once and for all
i managed to get up from the brutal fall
but i am stuck to the place of mishap even now
waiting eternally for the white dove

i tried drilling sense into me
i have even let go, set everything free
but within my heart lies a spark of hope
howmuchever i try it wont drop

i showed it the practical side
told it the sea is too deep and wide
yet it tells me u will cross and reach the shore
just keep on trying some more

how do i try, what do i do?
i am paralysed, i have no clue
it breaks my heart everyday to kill
but the hope is too strong willed

my tears have dried, there is a numbness now
i thought i was my best friend, turns out am the worst foe
i cant tell ne1 what am goin through,i show everything is fine
how can i replace something so rare, so pure, so divine

i firmly believe what is meant will happen for sure
someday i will,of my sorrows, be cured
but till then how do i stop waiting
can i get a hint that i will get what i have been wanting

leave me alone

i always told myself, life is a fairy tale
there are good days and there are days you fail
but in the end everything will be fine
hope for the best, believe in these words of mine

but when dark clouds are all that you can see
and the world wont let you what you want to be
i realized life is a wretched soul
tearing me into bits apart, it wont let me be whole

i tried to befriend it, but it wants to suck my happiness away
building new challenges and making me fall everyday
the winding roads make me dizzy and nauseous
i cannot escape from its wrath howmuchever i am cautious

sometimes i want to give up
sometims i ask it to shutup
sometimes i plead to it to leave me alone
sometimes i curse it, try to bargain that a lot i have borne

but its stuck to me like a shadow
the paths of joy are growing more and more narrow
the horror the pain the disdain
everything around me seems so vain

i weep i cry to lessen the hurt
it swears at me, it behaves curt
i want to hide but it finds me everywhere
there is no way to escape, no more can i bear